If only I could talk to you just one more time. How often have I uttered those words to myself.

I remember that last time so vividly. Drifting off to sleep to the sound of your voice outside our camp tent talking of our adventures and your photo’s of lions and our last cheetah sighting.

And then you crawling into the sleeping bag beside me, whispering in my ear as your did each night and then the next day, just nothing.

The last conversation.

Well I’d like to have this conversation with you, it’s joyous and it’s hard. Timothy got engaged to Larisa today.

We brought him up well for he asked me first. I will always remember and cherish that day. Boys are special beings. Especially to their mothers. I never wanted to be a controlling or interfering mother and I believe I’m not. But one thing for sure is that I am a loved mother, for all my faults and my shortcomings and my imperfections.

It will be very hard to be at Tim’s wedding without you and I will need to be strong. I don’t know how I will do it without you so I will need you to be at my side, just one more time.

You’ve got me through a lot of hard times and difficulty but this one is one that I need us to do together.

Please prepare me for this journey, make me strong for the children and let me be the mother I am born to be.