So I’m really really tired. The starting work at 2 or 3 or 4 am everyday for a month, is starting to show. The first sign usually is my ankles. Swelling. Then my hands start to ache. Then I just generally feel like a beached whale.

So I’m trying to manage getting enough us time with Nic, keeping the business going and keeping the wolves from the door, that’s a tap dance and a half each day. Somehow I’m managing though. I think attitude has a lot to do with that. I have come to a place where I can only do what I can do, ask for help that I need, if I get it, great, if I don’t, then carry on truckin’. I have had a lot of help that I didn’t ask for and that was the breath of fresh air I needed each time, it came my way.

Our daily life has finally settled down to a panic, a kind of upheavalled rhythmic pattern. In the back of my mind I know we face bad odds but for now we need to live. And enjoy each moment that we are given. I refuse to give up laughter!

I marvel about the new things I see in myself every so often. Like why I have such a good memory. I realize it’s because I look at a document and then I code what’s on the document from memory so that I don’t need to keep referring back to it, and then I do a final check. This process is repeated umteen times a day. So I’m refining and practicing my memory skills daily.

I also had to smile when I realized I have what I call ‘restaurant behaviour’. If a waiter goes past our table and then realizes he’s gone past and comes back I’ll say to him “that was a fly by” or if a waiter drops cutlery within earshot of me, I will joke with them and say ‘ the one that got away’. Or if two waiting are clearing a table and sharing a smile I say ‘hey, you know there is no happiness allowed at work’. These things usually create smiles and conversation and that makes me happy.

And then if course there are Debisms, people that know me know them well. They are sayings that are totally mixed up but everyone usually gets what I mean. Like ‘Bob’s your aunty’ or freezer burn instead of brain freeze. Or your car is in the par cark or your Beyser Gust, or maybe you’re just a Bleeping Slooty. (Sleeping Beauty) .